Shrine visit: 30th vs 31st day? When to prepare dinner and souvenirs and what to wear
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Should I visit the shrine on the 30th or 31st day after birth?
Correct time, attire, and offerings
"Do I really have to have my baby's shrine visit on the 31st day after birth?"
"Is it okay to take him outside when he can't even hold his head up yet?"
With a newborn little life in its arms,
To all moms out there who are feeling anxious.
I understand how you feel very well.
・If I don't follow the instructions in the book, something bad will happen to the baby...
・But I'm even more worried if I push myself too hard and end up getting sick...
・I'm worried about what others think, what should I do?
I have worked with over 1,000 new mothers.
Based on the experiences of people involved with the shrine,
We will tell you the criteria for making decisions that will truly benefit your baby .
While valuing old customs,
Based on modern medical knowledge and childcare circumstances,
Why not have a shrine visit that is uniquely yours and heartfelt ?
By the time you finish reading this guide,
"Well, then I can make a decision with peace of mind!"
With the conviction that
Your love for your baby will grow even stronger.
The first big celebration in our precious child's life.
To create warm memories without regrets,
Let's start preparing together.
The debate over whether to have a baby visit the shrine on the 30th or 31st day after birth has finally been settled
The theory that putting the baby's health first is correct
From the old rule that boys have 31 days and girls have 32 days.
Important modern standards of judgment
"The shrine visit is held on the 31st day after birth."
Many parenting books say this,
In fact, this is an old rule that no longer applies to modern child-rearing situations.
Why was this decision made?
During the Edo period, when medical technology was not yet developed,
The first month of life is the most dangerous period for both mother and baby.
"If they survive a month, I'm sure they'll grow up healthy."
It is with this wish in mind that people began to visit the shrine at this time of year.
However, in modern times, the medical and childcare environments have changed dramatically.
"You must visit the shrine exactly on the 31st day after birth."
That is no longer realistic.
When I asked a Shinto priest who actually performs the shrine visit at a shrine,
"The most important thing is the health of the baby and the mother."
The answer I got was:
A one-month-old baby is still not used to the outside world.
Their immune systems are not strong enough, so being outside for long periods of time puts a great strain on them.
In many cases, mothers have not fully recovered their strength within one month of giving birth.
Especially those who have given birth by Caesarean section,
For those who are not recovering well after giving birth,
The pressure of "I absolutely have to visit on the 31st"
This will only put a strain on your mind and body.
So, when should you go to the shrine?
Here are some modern criteria :
[Baby health check]
- Stable breastfeeding rhythm
・I can sleep well at night
・When I go out, I have 1-2 hours where I feel good.
[Mom's health check]
・Lochia has calmed down
・You won't get extremely tired after going out for 2-3 hours
・Feeling relaxed
[Consideration of season and weather]
- Avoid midsummer and midwinter (even if the baby is 2-3 months old)
-Postponement on rainy or windy days
- Be careful when making decisions during times of infectious disease epidemics
"But if it's too late, people around me will start to notice..."
Some people may be worried about this.
However, recently, more and more families are holding shrine visits when their baby is 2-3 months old.
There are various reasons for this,
"It's safer to wait until the baby's neck is strong enough"
"After Mommy has fully recovered."
We often hear people say this.
The shrine is also fully aware of this situation.
"The original meaning of Omiya-mairi is
It is a prayer for the baby's health and growth.
If you push yourself too hard and end up getting sick, it will be counterproductive."
Many priests say this.
In other words, there is no "absolutely correct date" for the shrine visit .
Depending on your family situation,
Choosing the day when you can visit with the most peace of mind is the key.
It's the most important thing.
While valuing tradition,
Flexible decisions tailored to modern child-rearing circumstances.
That is the correct way to conduct a shrine visit in modern times.
[Must-see for new moms] Complete guide to choosing outfits for a shrine visit
Renting vs. Buying: Pros and Cons
Is 30,000 yen too expensive for a baby's celebratory outfit?
Best value for money preparation methods and hidden money-saving tips
"Should I buy or rent a baby's celebratory outfit?"
This is a problem that many new moms struggle with.
If you purchase it, it will cost more than 30,000 yen.
A ceremonial kimono costs around 10,000 yen to rent.
But in fact, there is no answer as to which is correct .
The important thing is to make a choice that suits your family situation.
First, the advantages and disadvantages of each
Let's take a look at some real numbers.
[Benefits of purchase]
If you have siblings, the total cost will be lower.
(30,000 yen per celebratory kimono ÷ 3 people = 10,000 yen per person)
- Keep it as a souvenir
・Can be used without worrying about resizing or getting dirty
・Can also be used for first meals and first festivals
[Disadvantages of purchasing]
・High initial costs (30,000-80,000 yen)
・Storage space required
・Poor cost performance for only children
Possibility of changing preferences
[Benefits of renting]
・Low initial costs (8,000 yen - 15,000 yen)
No need to store
・Choose high-quality celebratory clothing
・A set of accessories is included
[Disadvantages of renting]
・Total costs increase if there are many siblings
- Worried about stains and damage
・You may not be able to rent the item on the date you wish to
No souvenirs left to keep
Here, we introduce a "third option" that many people are not aware of.
[Use of second-hand and recycled products]
If you search on Mercari or Yahoo! Auctions,
You can get a good condition celebratory kimono for 10,000-20,000 yen.
"Isn't it bad luck to buy second-hand?"
Some people are worried about this,
In fact, the use of second-hand celebratory clothing has been around for a long time.
In particular, inheritance from relatives or acquaintances
It means "to share good fortune"
In fact, it is considered to be auspicious.
[Hidden tips for choosing mom's clothes]
We tend to focus on the baby's celebratory attire,
In fact, mom's choice of clothing is more important.
Because the most common photos of the shrine visit are
It's a picture of a mother holding a baby.
Many experienced moms regret the following points:
- Did not consider post-pregnancy changes in body shape
(My pre-pregnancy clothes were too tight and I panicked on the day)
・I didn't consider the ease of breastfeeding
(It's difficult to breastfeed in a one-piece dress.)
・Walkability was neglected
(My feet hurt from the heels and my expression stiffens.)
We recommend:
It's a "set-up (separate top and bottom clothes)."
You can breastfeed by flipping just the top.
Easy to adjust the size,
It also maintains formality.
The color is bright, so the baby's celebratory clothes are
"Navy", "gray", "beige" , etc.
The muted colors are well balanced.
[Hidden money-saving tips: Utilizing small items]
Hats, bibs, charms and other small items are
It is not as expensive as ceremonial wear (around 1,000-3,000 yen).
By making good use of these,
It can make even a simple celebratory outfit look gorgeous.
In particular, "bibs with family crests"
It has the effect of making you feel formal,
It also looks great in photos.
Also, "I borrowed the celebratory clothes from my parents and only bought new accessories."
This method is also popular.
With new accessories,
You can feel that it is a special day for your child .
It will also remain as a keepsake.
Finally, the most important thing to remember when choosing your outfit:
"When I looked back at the photos,
The whole family looks happy."
Rather than expensive clothes,
Clothing that makes moms feel at ease and smiles is what we want.
It's the best shrine visit fashion.
The truth about the average price of 5,000 to 10,000 yen for a shrine visit offering
Appropriate amount according to shrine status
How to write and hand over a gift envelope: etiquette
Market sense to prevent "too little..."
"How much should I give as an offering?"
In response to this question, many shrines
"Your feelings are appreciated," I reply.
But doesn't that actually cause problems?
"Even if you say it's your feelings,
I feel anxious if I don't know the market price..."
For those of you who are like that,
We spoke directly with people connected to the shrine.
We will tell you the "real market value" .
First of all, why doesn't the shrine state the amount?
That is, the first offering
"It's not a payment for a product, but an expression of gratitude."
That's why.
Once you set the price,
It gives the impression of being a "business transaction."
However, in reality, depending on the size and status of the shrine,
It is also true that there is an "implicit market price."
[Guidelines for offerings by shrine status]
●Small local shrines
→ 3,000 yen to 5,000 yen
(One priest, simple prayer)
●Medium-sized shrine
→ 5,000 yen to 8,000 yen
(Two priests, full-scale prayer)
●Famous shrines and large shrines
→ 8,000 yen to 15,000 yen
(Multiple priests, formal prayer)
●Nationally famous shrines
→ 10,000 yen to 20,000 yen
(Meiji Shrine, Ise Shrine, etc.)
However, this is only a guideline.
The most important thing is,
An amount that suits your family's financial situation
The key is to wrap it up.
God does not care about the amount of money,
Because He sees your sincerity.
[How to choose and write a gift envelope]
When choosing a gift envelope for the offering,
There are some common mistakes.
❌ Wrong: Use knotted Mizuhiki
(This is for weddings and funerals, and is not suitable for shrine visits.)
⭕ Correct answer: Use a bow-knotted (flower-knotted) Mizuhiki.
(For celebrations that can be repeated multiple times)
The inscription on the envelope reads:
・Top row: "First offering" or "Tamagushi offering"
・Bottom row: Baby's name (full name)
"The baby's name? Isn't it Mommy or Daddy's name?"
Many people are surprised to hear this,
Since the shrine visit is an event where the baby is the main character ,
It is proper to write the baby's name.
The inner envelope (the envelope for putting money in) contains:
・Front: Write the amount in Chinese numerals
(Example: 10,000 yen)
・Back: Address and baby's name
[Etiquette for putting money in and handing it over]
New banknotes will be prepared.
It means "to celebrate the birth of a new life."
This is to show consideration by showing that the preparations were made in advance.
Exchange money at a bank or
You can also exchange them for new bills at the post office.
The orientation of the bill is:
・The portrait of the person on the banknote will face the front.
・The person should be facing forward when the envelope is opened.
The timing for giving the offering is
It is usually before the prayer begins .
If the shrine has a reception desk,
If not, we will give it directly to the priest.
"Thank you for coming today."
Add a word of thanks and hand it over to me with both hands.
[Tips to avoid the mistake of "It was too little..."]
One way to do this is to call the shrine in advance to check.
"The offering for the shrine visit is
How many packages do you all have?"
If you ask me like this,
Most shrines will give you an idea of the route.
Also, if you have siblings,
"There is no need to wrap enough for each person."
One offering is sufficient for one family.
Rather, if you wrap it for the number of people,
"It can be confusing for the shrine."
I also hear that...
Finally, if you're on a tight budget
There's no need to force yourself.
The essence of the shrine visit is
"Thank you for the baby's health and growth."
Even if it costs 3,000 yen, if you wrap it with sincerity,
I'm sure God will understand your feelings too.
It's not the amount that matters,
The whole family helps your baby grow
Because it is a prayer from the heart.
What to do when your baby won't stop crying
Practical measures to alleviate moms' anxiety
Breastfeeding, changing diapers, and holding babies at shrines
Best Timing Complete Manual
"What if a baby starts crying loudly at the shrine?"
Many mothers probably can't sleep the night before the shrine visit because of anxiety.
But it's okay.
It's normal for babies to cry.
The people at the shrine and the worshippers around me all understand.
First of all, you should know that:
"There is no one at the shrine who gets angry over a baby crying."
That is what it means.
Rather, listen to the cheerful cry
"Oh, it's a healthy baby."
Most people find this thought heartwarming.
Shinto priests also
"A baby's cry is a cheerful greeting to God."
He says, ``Thank you.''
However, as a mom
I want to spend my time as peacefully as possible.
So, "preventive measures to deal with crying before it happens"
What to do when you start crying
I'll tell you both.
[Preparation from the day before the shrine visit to the morning of the day]
The day before, check your baby's daily routine.
It's important to keep it normal.
-Feed and sleep at the same time as usual
・Short practice trips outside to help them get used to their new environment
・Mum herself should also take plenty of rest and have some free time.
On the morning of the day, make sure you have plenty of time to get ready.
The hectic atmosphere
It can also be passed on to babies.
[Golden rules from arriving at the shrine until the start of prayer]
When you arrive at the shrine, first
"Check where you can breastfeed and change diapers."
Many shrines have nursing rooms and
There is a diaper changing space.
If not, use the inside of your car.
Arrive 30 minutes before the start of the prayer
Please prepare in this order:
1. Check and change diapers (if necessary)
2. Breastfeeding (best 20 minutes before the start of prayer)
3. Make sure your baby burps
4. Calm your baby by holding him for about 10 minutes
If you breastfeed at this time,
During the prayer, I became "full and drowsy"
The chances of crying are significantly reduced.
What to do if you start crying during prayer
First, take a deep breath .
If mom is anxious, the baby will cry more.
If your child is crying lightly
・Gently pat your back
- Say "It's okay" in a low voice
・Try changing the way you hold your baby to a vertical position
If the child is crying violently
-Go outside and calm down
- Check if breastfeeding or diaper changes are necessary
・Once the prayer service resumes, you can join in halfway through.
"Isn't it rude to go outside in the middle of the day?"
Some mothers worry about this,
There is absolutely no problem .
Shinto priests also
"Your baby comes first. Don't push yourself too hard."
He shows his understanding.
[Direct from a senior mom! Secret tricks to stop your baby from crying]
● Use of sound
・A gentle "shhh" sound in your ear
- The "Rain Sound" app on your smartphone (at minimum volume)
-Dad or grandma's low voice
Tips on how to shake
・Shake vertically in small increments (more effective than left and right)
・ Walk slowly at the same rhythm
- Press it against your chest to feel your heartbeat
●Last resort
- Expose to fresh air outside
・Take turns holding the baby
・Return to the car and reset
[How to identify signs of fatigue]
There are many reasons why babies cry:
Common patterns on the day of the shrine visit:
・Confusion in an unfamiliar environment
・Tiredness from taking photos and traveling
・The excitement of being touched by many people
・Discomfort in unfamiliar clothing
In times like these,
"You've done enough today."
It's also important to have the courage to end it early.
The shrine visit is an event to pray for the health of the baby.
Pushing yourself too hard and making yourself ill would be counterproductive.
From "The Perfect Shrine Visit"
"A shrine visit with smiles for the whole family"
Let's aim for that.
Finally, some great advice.
If your baby just won't stop crying,
"This child is really greeting God."
Think about it.
I'm sure your heart will become lighter,
Your smile will naturally return.
5 tips for creating lifelong memories with shrine visit photos
How to capture the moment when a natural smile is born
Criteria for choosing between professional and family photography
How to avoid "I should have taken a picture then..."
"I want to make sure that this child's first special occasion is beautifully preserved."
I understand that motherly heart all too well.
But at the same time,
"Won't the baby get tired from taking photos?"
There is also the concern that...
The photos of the shrine visit are
It's a once in a lifetime memory .
When you look back in 20 or 30 years,
"Oh, I was so small then."
And the whole family will smile,
I want to leave behind some warm photos.
I have photographed over 1,000 shrine visits.
I heard from the photographer,
"The secret to creating truly beautiful photos"
I'll tell you.
[Criteria for choosing between professional photography and family photography]
First, many mothers worry
"Should I hire a professional? Should I just take the photo with my family?"
This is the problem.
●When professional photography is recommended
I want a photo with the whole family in it.
-It's a once-in-a-lifetime keepsake, so I want it to be preserved in the highest quality.
・I want to focus on the shrine visit without worrying about taking photos.
・I want to take a photo with my grandparents and everyone together.
Estimated cost: 30,000 to 100,000 yen
(Shrine photoshoot + data fee included)
●When family photography is recommended
・I want to cherish the natural expressions of my baby
・I want to keep my budget down
・I want to prioritize my baby's health and pace
・I want to cherish a private atmosphere
Estimated cost: 0 yen to 5,000 yen
(All you need is a high-quality smartphone or camera.)
[How to choose wisely when choosing professional photography]
Recently, I have been working on a company that specializes in shrine visit photography.
The number of photographers is on the rise.
Points to consider when choosing:
- Extensive experience in baby photography
(Check the portfolio)
・I'm used to taking photos at shrines
(Know the etiquette and best spots to take photos)
-Short shooting time
(Consideration of the burden on the baby)
・Shooting style that makes use of natural light
(Don't use flash too much)
Things you should check in advance:
・What to do in case of rain
What to do when your baby cries
・Whether photography is permitted at the shrine
・Data delivery date and quantity
[5 tips for taking beautiful family photos]
●1. Use light to your advantage
The shrine grounds are surprisingly good for photography.
The large trees act as natural reflectors,
The soft light envelops your baby.
What you want to avoid is direct sunlight and backlighting .
If you take a photo in the shade of a tree or building,
You can capture natural and beautiful expressions.
●2. Be aware of your baby's line of sight
A one-month-old baby
I still can't focus.
But sometimes, I suddenly open my eyes
There is a moment when you look at something.
That moment is it.
"It's a piece that will become a lifelong treasure."
Don't rush to take a photo,
Wait patiently and capture the moment.
●3. Cherish the natural expressions of your family
"Look at the camera and smile!"
Rather than
A profile of a mother gazing at her baby,
Daddy's hand gently stroking my head,
The expressions of the grandparents watching with narrowed eyes.
Photos that show such "natural affection" are more
It will warm your heart when you look back on it later.
●4. Use props and backgrounds
・Close-up of the beautiful pattern of the ceremonial kimono
・Together with the shrine's torii gate and lantern
・Gift envelopes for offerings and souvenirs
・A baby's tiny hands held in the hands of a family member
By having these "partial photos,"
The memories of that day come back to me more vividly.
●5. Determine the right timing for the photo
Your baby's good mood is limited.
[Best timing]
・When you feel satisfied right after breastfeeding
・When you are dozing off lightly
When the surroundings are quiet and calm
[Timing to avoid]
・When fasting
・When your child is sleepy and fussy
When the diaper is wet
[Checklist to prevent "I should have taken a picture then..."]
The day of the shrine visit was hectic,
It's easy to forget to take a photo.
Make a list in advance:
□ Getting ready before leaving home
□ First impression upon arriving at the shrine
□ Family photo before the prayer
□ The scene during the prayer (if photography is possible)
□ A relieved expression after the prayer
□ Overall view of the ceremonial attire
□ Baby's small hands and feet
□ Two-shot of each family member with the baby
□ Commemorative photo with the shrine sign and torii gate
□ Tired (but satisfied) expression on the way home
Finally, the most important thing.
Rather than pursuing the "perfect photo,"
Cherish the happiness of that moment.
Even if it's a little shaky,
Even if your face looks a little tired,
A photo filled with family love,
It will be a treasure that will never fade over the years.
Your precious baby,
The first sunny day of my life.
Watching over with loving eyes,
Make sure you remember that moment in your heart.
The borderline between deciding whether to postpone due to rain, extreme heat, and extreme cold
Criteria that prioritizes baby safety
Seasonal baby health management techniques and
How to plan for the weather
"It's forecast to rain on the day of the shrine visit... Should we postpone it?"
"It's midsummer, is it okay to go as planned?"
You can't help but worry about the weather.
Especially for a one-month-old baby
Severe weather can take a toll.
But don't worry.
Postponing the shrine visit due to weather conditions
It's not at all uncommon.
Rather, it was a wise decision to prioritize the health of the baby.
The shrine will also understand this.
I learned this from my mom who is a certified weather forecaster.
"Criteria for deciding on postponement based on scientific evidence" and
You can visit the shrine safely in any weather
I'll give you some tips on how to prepare.
[Weather boundary when postponement should be considered]
In case of rain
[Postponement recommended]
・Rainfall of 10mm or more per hour
-Windy rain (umbrellas are useless)
- Rain with thunder
- Rain forecast for the whole day
[Executable]
・Light rain (less than 5mm per hour)
- Forecast to stop in a short time
・Shrines with covered routes
In the case of temperature
[Postponement recommended]
・Maximum temperature over 35°C (extremely hot day)
・Minimum temperature below 0 degrees (midwinter day)
・An environment where the perceived temperature exceeds ±20 degrees
[Measures are necessary but feasible]
・Maximum temperature 30-34°C (midsummer day)
・Minimum temperature 5 degrees or less (winter day)
In case of wind
[Postponement recommended]
・Wind speed of 10m/s or more (enough to blow away a hat)
・Gust warning has been issued
[Complete guide to managing your baby's health by season]
●Spring (March-May) shrine visit
Spring is a relatively good season for shrine visits,
There are also some points to be aware of.
[Points to note]
- Pollen (if the mother has allergies, it may affect the baby)
- Sudden temperature changes (temperature differences between morning and evening)
・Yellow sand (be especially careful in western Japan)
【countermeasure】
・Bring a light jacket
・Check pollen information
・Early morning hours are recommended
●Summer (June-August) shrine visit
Summer shrine visits require the most care.
[Dangerous times]
・10:00-15:00 (peak of UV rays and temperature)
- High humidity days (the perceived temperature is higher than the actual temperature)
[Safe time period]
・Early morning (7am-9am)
・Evening (after 4pm)
[Must-have items]
・Cooling sheets (for babies)
・Oral rehydration solution (for mothers)
・Parasol/Hat
・Towel with ice packs
・In-car temperature control products
[Signs of heatstroke in babies]
・Face becomes red
・You will stop sweating
・Exhausted
-Decreased milk intake
If any of these apply to you,
Immediately move to a cool place.
Autumn (September-November) Shrine Visit
Autumn is also a relatively good season,
Be careful of temperature changes.
[Points to note]
- Temperature difference between morning and evening (even a difference of more than 10 degrees)
・Typhoon season (September-October)
・Dryness (causes skin problems)
【countermeasure】
・Clothes that are easy to layer
・Moisturizing cream
Check the weather forecast a few days in advance
Winter (December-February) Shrine Visits
When visiting a shrine in winter, the most important thing is to keep warm.
[Dangerous situation]
・Snow and ice make the ground slippery
・Too dry (humidity below 30%)
- Strong winds (the perceived temperature drops significantly)
[Must-have items]
・Baby winter clothes (to wear under the ceremonial clothing)
・Blankets
・Heat packs (to be used in a place that does not come into direct contact with the baby)
・Non-slip shoes
[Emergency response plan for sudden changes in weather]
On the day of the shrine visit, the weather may be worse than expected.
Have a "Plan B" ready for times like these.
If the rain gets heavier
1. Wait at the shrine office
2. Stay in the car and wait for the weather to improve
3. Simplified worship in a covered area
4. Decide to postpone
If the temperature is harsher than expected
1. Reduce dwell time
2. Simplify photography
3. Go home early without overdoing it
[Notifying postponement and rebooking etiquette]
In case of unavoidable postponement
The smart way to respond:
Contact the shrine
・As early as possible (by the day before)
- Briefly explain the reason
- Tell us your next desired date
● Contacting family and relatives
・Contact all at once via LINE groups, etc.
・Present the reason for the postponement and a new proposed date
・Rather than apologizing, explain that the decision was made with the baby's safety as the top priority.
[Be prepared regardless of the weather]
Finally, I would like to tell you something very important.
The true meaning of Omiya-mairi is
It's not "doing it in perfect weather."
I pray for the health and growth of the baby.
Strengthening family ties.
If that can be done, a little rain and wind will
Rather, it becomes a part of your memories.
"It was raining that day,
We all paid our respects to you."
Just like that, someday I'll have a baby
Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you about it.
More important than the weather
Because it's filled with your love .
Learn the success rules from the failure stories of 50 experienced moms
Wisdom to prevent "If only I had done this at that time..."
Real experiences and solutions
Prepare for the shrine visit with peace of mind
What mistakes did the older moms make?
"I'm worried I'll make the same mistake..."
For those of you who are like that,
We conducted a survey of 50 experienced mothers.
"Things I regret about the shrine visit"
"If I could do it all over again..."
What emerged from real voices
Common failure patterns
Here are some concrete steps to prevent this.
You'll probably think , "Oh, so that's what happens!"
With this new realization,
"This way I can prepare with peace of mind."
This should give you confidence.
[Top 10 Failure Stories]
●1st place: "Clothing blunder" (32 people)
Actual failure stories:
"I chose a dress that was difficult to breastfeed in,
I was in a panic when my baby cried at the shrine and I couldn't breastfeed him.
In the end, I went back to the car and changed my clothes..." (Mr. A, 28 years old)
Solution:
- Choose clothes that open in the front or have a nursing opening
Practice breastfeeding beforehand
-Keep a change of clothes in your car
● 2nd place: "I was too lenient with the time allocation" (28 people)
Actual failure stories:
"I spent too much time taking photos,
The baby is hungry and crying loudly.
He was fussy throughout the important prayer.
I couldn't concentrate." (Mr. B, 31 years old)
Solution:
- The entire project should be completed within 2 hours.
・Create a schedule by counting backwards from the feeding time
・Photography is allowed after the prayer.
3rd place: "Mismanagement of baby's health" (25 people)
Actual failure stories:
"If you put new underwear on him the day before,
On the day, my skin turned red.
Looking back at the photos, it's a pitiful state..." (Mr. C, 29 years old)
Solution:
Get used to new clothes a week in advance
・Check your body temperature and mood on the morning of the day
・Bring skin care products
4th place: "Lack of coordination with grandparents" (23 people)
Actual failure stories:
"My mother-in-law insisted on the 'old-fashioned way,'
On the day of the event, there was a big argument over what to wear and the schedule.
The celebration turned into a tense atmosphere..." (D, 26 years old)
Solution:
- Decide on a policy in advance at a family meeting
・Carefully explain the reasons for the "modern way"
Find a compromise that everyone can agree on
5th place: "Failure to prepare the first offering" (21 people)
Actual failure stories:
"I put old bills in the envelope,
I was embarrassed when I was asked at a shrine to give new bills.
Even if you try to exchange money at a nearby convenience store,
I was in trouble because I couldn't find new banknotes." (E, 32 years old)
Solution:
- Exchange your money for new notes at the bank one week in advance
- Keep some spare new bills on hand.
・Practice how to write gift envelopes in advance
[Unexpected failure stories and lessons learned]
● Failure due to "striving for perfection"
"I was aiming for the perfect shrine visit like the ones I saw on Instagram.
I prepared too much, trying to do too much.
On the day, we were busy with the arrangements.
I couldn't enjoy the time I really needed to spend with my baby." (Ms. F, 30)
Lesson learned:
Rather than a perfect appearance,
Family smiles and baby health come first
● The mistake of being too conscious of how to look on social media
"I was just thinking about taking photos,
I didn't realize my baby was tired.
When I looked back at it later, my expression was stiff.
The photos are not natural at all..." (Mr. G, 27 years old)
Lesson learned:
Memories over records,
It's important to feel that moment in your heart
[What successful senior moms have in common]
In contrast to failure stories,
"It was a very satisfying shrine visit," he replied.
The moms all had one thing in common.
●1. Thorough implementation of "baby first"
"All of our criteria were based on 'what would it be like for the baby?'
Even if you have to change your plans,
Everyone in the family understands that "baby comes first,"
In the end, it was a peaceful day." (Mr. H, 33 years old)
●2. The mindset that "it's okay not to be perfect"
"I decided that a few failures would become memories.
In fact, the baby pooped during the prayer.
My best memory is when we all laughed out loud together." (Mr. I, 29 years old)
●3. The division of family roles is clear
"Daddy's in charge of the luggage, I'm in charge of the baby,
I had decided that my mother-in-law would be in charge of photography,
No one got lost and everything went smoothly." (J, 31 years old)
[Final checklist to prevent failure]
Can be used from 3 days before the shrine visit.
Here's a tried-and-true checklist:
[Check 3 days before]
□ Final check of the weather forecast
□ Checking the baby's health and mood
□ Final fitting of the outfit
□ Contact and confirm with the shrine
[Check the day before]
□ Your luggage is ready
□ Preparing the envelope for the offering
□ Check the health of all family members
□ Car gasoline and baby seat inspection
□ Charging cameras and smartphones
[Check on the morning of the day]
□ Measuring your baby's temperature
□ Breastfeeding and diaper changes completed
□ Lost property check
□ Departure time with ample time
[Final check before departure]
□ Diapers and nursing supplies
□ Change of clothes (for baby and mom)
□ First offering
□ Camera/Smartphone
□ Towels and wet wipes
□ Maternal and Child Health Handbook (just in case)
[Heartwarming message from a senior mom]
Finally, we would like to thank everyone who participated in the survey.
Here are some encouraging words from experienced moms.
"There's no such thing as a perfect shrine visit.
The important thing is to share that moment with the whole family.
Enjoy it from the heart.
The baby was born healthy
That alone makes me happy." (Mr. K, 34 years old)
"Everything is a memory, even the failures.
The troubles that are now laughable stories,
I was desperate at the time,
That, too, has become a fond memory for me." (L, 28 years old)
Your visit to the shrine will surely be a wonderful memory.
While taking into account the wisdom of experienced mothers,
But ultimately, you want to have a shrine visit that is "unique to you"
Please create it.
Special care guide for mothers of twins, babies born in the same year, and those who had a cesarean section
A shrine visit that suits you without overdoing it
Efforts to minimize physical strain
How to create a family support system
"What should I do for the twins' shrine visit?"
"I'm not fully recovered yet after the C-section..."
"I have an older child too, so I wonder if we can all go to pray together?"
Moms with special circumstances
In the usual way of visiting a shrine
There are worries that you can't handle.
But don't worry.
In any situation, it's like your family
A wonderful shrine visit can be realized.
Actually overcoming special circumstances
The stories of senior mothers who successfully completed their shrine visits
I'll share my wisdom and experience.
[Complete guide to taking twins to the shrine]
The most difficult part of a shrine visit for twins is
"Synchronizing the timing of the two babies."
Tips for praying together
[Timing adjustment tips]
-Stagger feeding times by about 30 minutes
(While one is crying, the other is full and quiet)
- Always change diapers for two children at the same time
(Assuming one of them gets dirty)
・Secure two or more people to hold the baby
(A replacement for when mom gets tired)
[Pack 1.5 times the amount of luggage]
Diapers: 1.5 times the normal amount
・Change of clothes: 2 sets per person
・Towels and gauze: Prepare plenty
・Milk supplies: 2 sets
[Request to shorten prayer time]
Many shrines will make special arrangements for twins.
"Since we have twins, could you please shorten the prayer time?"
Let's discuss this in advance.
●Option to pray separately
Even twins must be together
There is no rule that says this.
[Advantages of visiting separately]
・You can slowly face each person one by one
・Light physical burden on mothers
・You can take photos calmly
・It also helps to avoid confusion when there are older children.
[Actual voices of senior mothers]
"At first I thought we'd go together, but
The midwife told me not to push myself
I did it separately.
As a result, I was able to face each of them carefully.
It became a very fond memory." (Ms. M, mother of twins)
[Health-first plan for Cesarean section moms]
Caesarean section birth is
It takes your body longer to recover than natural childbirth.
"I want to go to the shrine, but I'm worried about my health..."
I really understand how you feel.
●Criteria for determining recovery status
[Health check at one month after birth]
■ Executable level
- Almost no pain from the wound
・You won't get extremely tired after going out for about 2 hours.
Can go up and down stairs without any problems
- Able to drive a car (or sit for long periods of time)
■Negotiable level
The wound still hurts a little, but it doesn't interfere with daily life.
・You can go out for about an hour
- Strong family support
■ Recommended postponement level
The wound still hurts
・It's hard to stand for long periods of time
・When I go out, I feel tired until the next day
●Easy plan for cesarean section moms
[Stamina saving strategy]
・Movement will be primarily by car
(Minimize walking distance)
・Choose a shrine that has chairs and rest areas
・Set the stay time to within 1 hour
Keep photography to a minimum
・Dinner party will be scheduled on a different day
[Establishing a support system]
・Basically leave the baby holding to someone else
・Leave luggage to someone else
・Mom plays the role of "watchful eye"
- Ensure the right to return home immediately if you feel unwell
[How to deal with children who are siblings or older children]
If you have older children,
The measures will vary depending on the child's age.
If you have a child aged 1-2 years old
[Biggest challenge: dealing with boredom for older children]
Bring your favorite toys and books
・Prepare snacks specifically for older children
(Check in advance whether it is okay to eat at the shrine.)
・One adult must be assigned to take care of the older child.
(Mom focuses on the baby)
・It is okay to play outside during prayers.
[Ideas to make the older child the main character]
・"Let's go pray together, big brother/sister."
・Prepare a small celebration for your older child
・The older child also takes center stage in the photo shoot
●If you have children aged 3 or older
[Strategy to involve them as collaborators]
"Please help me with the baby."
- Simple help (such as handing over a towel)
・"Thanks to you, big brother/sister, it was a wonderful shrine visit."
[Success stories for families with special circumstances]
Twins and a 2-year-old child
"It took five of us - my dad, me and my parents-in-law - to take on the challenge.
My father-in-law is in charge of the older child, and my mother-in-law and I are in charge of the twins.
Dad is in charge of the luggage and photos.
Since we had already decided on the division of roles,
It went surprisingly smoothly." (Ms. N, mother of twins and an older child)
●Cases of Caesarean section and babies born one year apart
"It was physically impossible,
The shrine visit will be postponed until two and a half months after birth.
I thought you might say it was too late,
The shrine staff said, "Mom's health is the top priority."
They welcomed me warmly." (Mother of two children, Ms. O)
[How to create a family support system]
If there are special circumstances,
The most important thing is not to try to do it alone.
●Things to decide in advance at a family meeting
1. **Who is responsible for what?**
2. **Emergency Decision-Making Authority**
3. **Criteria for deciding whether to cancel or postpone**
4. **What to do when mom is tired**
Utilizing external support
・Temporary childcare (for older children)
・Family support
・Grandparents' cooperation
・Babysitter specializing in shrine visits
Finally, for moms with special circumstances
I have something to tell you.
Even if you can't have a "normal shrine visit,"
That doesn't make it inferior.
Your family's way
Celebrate your baby's growth and express your gratitude.
That is it.
It is a special shrine visit that is one of a kind in the world .
Don't push yourself, but don't give up.
Have a wonderful day that suits you
Please create it.
Family Outfit Coordination Techniques Complete Edition
How to create a unified look that looks great in photos
Examples of how dads and grandparents choose their clothes
The secret to looking stylish while maintaining formality
"I've decided on the baby's celebratory outfit, but what should I wear for the whole family?"
"I want to look formal, but I don't want it to be too formal..."
Choosing the right outfit for a shrine visit can be surprisingly difficult.
"Coordination for the whole family."
Because the baby is the main character,
The whole family is dressed in matching outfits,
You want to take beautiful photos.
As a stylist, I have worked with many families.
Learned from professionals
"Fail-proof family coordination rules"
I'll tell you.
[Basic principles of family coordination]
●Principle 1: "Make the main character stand out"
The main character of the shrine visit is the baby.
The family's clothing
A background that makes your baby's ceremonial attire look beautiful
This role is played by:
in particular:
・Don't wear anything flashy compared to a baby's ceremonial attire
・But it's also not good to have something that's too plain and doesn't look good in photos.
・Aiming for "elegant and subdued elegance"
●Principle 2: "Match color tones"
When everyone in the family wears different colors,
It looks disjointed when you look at it in a photo.
[Successful color matching patterns]
■Navy x Beige
・Dad: Navy suit
・Mom: Beige or cream dress
Grandparents: Gray or dark brown
→An elegant and refined impression
■Gray x Pastel
Dad: Charcoal gray suit
・Mom: Pale pink or blue clothes
・Grandparents: dark gray or navy
→Gentle and warm impression
■Black x White
・Dad: Black suit
・Mom: White or ivory clothes
Grandparents: Black or dark navy
→ A sophisticated and sophisticated impression
[Detailed guide to choosing clothes for dads]
Many dads worry
"How formal should it be?"
We will answer your questions:
●Basically, a business suit is fine
A shrine visit is not as formal an event as a wedding.
The suit you normally wear to work is sufficient.
[Recommended colors]
1. **Navy** (the safest and most elegant)
2. **Charcoal Gray** (Looks calm)
3. **Dark Brown** (Warm)
Colors to avoid
・Light gray (too casual)
Black (too formal, but grandfathers are OK)
- Wide stripes (they look too loud in photos)
● Make a difference with your choice of tie
Even if the suit is the same,
The impression can change drastically depending on the tie you wear.
[The perfect tie for a shrine visit]
・**Polka dots (small dots)**: Elegant and refreshing
・**Stripes (thin)**: Intelligent and trustworthy
・**Plain (silk material)**: Looks formal
Choose a color that coordinates with your mom's outfit.
If your mom has a pink tone, choose light pink or rose.
For blue, try light blue or navy.
[Choosing clothes for moms: Post-pregnancy body type edition]
The most important thing for a new mother after giving birth is
It combines "body shape coverage" and "easy breastfeeding."
Techniques for covering up body shape
[If you are concerned about your stomach area]
・A-line dress
・Clothes with a high waistline
・Emphasis on vertical lines by wearing a jacket
[If you are concerned about your chest area]
・V-neck makes your neck look longer
・Draw attention upward with scarves and accessories
・Brighten up your face with a bright colored top
[If you are concerned about your upper arms]
- Choose 5/8 or 3/4 sleeves
- Put on a jacket or cardigan
- Choose items with detailed cuffs
●Breastfeeding-friendly fashion
[Front opening type]
・Blouse + skirt combination
・Front-opening dress
・Cardigan + innerwear
[Type with nursing opening]
・Formal wear from a brand specializing in nursing wear
- Looks the same as regular clothes
・Prices range from 10,000 to 30,000 yen
[Points to consider when choosing clothes for grandparents]
When choosing clothes for our grandparents' generation,
"Formality" and "low physical strain"
It is important to balance these two.
Grandpa's clothes
[Adjusting the level of formality]
・A little higher rank than Dad (respect for elders)
But not too hard
Choosing the right size for your body is the top priority
[Recommended style]
・Dark navy or black suit
・Silver-gray tie
・Wear leather shoes that you are comfortable wearing
Grandma's clothes
[Produces an elegant and glamorous look]
・Formal wear for ladies
- The colors are calm tones
・Add elegance with accessories
[Consideration for your body]
・Comfortable shoes
- Clothing that is not too tight
・A jacket that can easily regulate your temperature
[Small photogenic techniques]
● Maintain overall balance
-Tall people sit at the back, short people sit at the front
- Place people with lighter colors closer to the center
- Arrange in a way that surrounds the baby
●Create a unified look with accessories
・The whole family wears pearls
- Tie pins for men, necklaces and earrings for women
・Match colors (everyone in silver, everyone in gold, etc.)
●Add a seasonal touch with accessories
・Spring: Cherry blossom-colored accessories
・Summer: Linen accessories
・Autumn: Brown accessories
・Winter: Fur and velvet materials
[Fail-proof coordination examples]
Example 1: Elegant casual family
・Baby: Light pink ceremonial kimono on a white background
Mom: Beige set
・Dad: Navy suit + pink tie
・Grandparents: Gray clothing
→Warm and photogenic
●Example 2: Classical family
・Baby: Navy blue ceremonial kimono with gold embroidery
・Mom: Navy dress
Dad: Charcoal gray suit
Grandparents: Classic black style
→ Gives an impression of dignity and respect for tradition
Every member of the family is beautiful,
And an overall harmonious outfit.
It is a photo of the shrine visit.
It will become a "family treasure"
It’s one of the important elements.
Don't aim for perfection,
But in clothes that I prepared with all my heart,
I hope you have a wonderful day.
A thorough comparison of the merits of famous shrines vs. local shrines
The best choice for your baby
Avoiding crowds, access, benefits, and facilities
Think about choosing a shrine you won't regret
"Should I visit a famous shrine like Meiji Shrine?"
"Or maybe a small local shrine would be better?"
There are many mothers who have trouble choosing a shrine.
The desire to visit a famous shrine that seems to bring good fortune ,
A sense of security at a local shrine that places less strain on babies .
Whichever you choose, it will surely be a wonderful visit.
For your family
The important thing is to find the shrine where you feel most comfortable .
We covered shrine visits at over 50 shrines across the country.
I heard from the writer,
I will tell you the real points to consider when choosing a shrine .
[Complete analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of famous shrines]
●Advantages of choosing a famous shrine
[Reassurance of prestige and benefits]
・Prestige backed by history and tradition
・Satisfaction that "we were able to have a proper shrine visit"
・Beautiful temple grounds that look great in photos
・A wide range of gifts (amulets, souvenirs, etc.)
[Fully equipped facilities]
・Nursing room and diaper changing space available
Waiting rooms and rest areas
・Securing parking spaces
Wheelchair and stroller access
[A special, memorable feeling]
・Memorial for "I went to XX Shrine for a shrine visit"
・A fine goshuin stamp and certificate
Professional photographers are also used to it
●Disadvantages of famous shrines
[Burden caused by congestion]
・Long waiting times (especially on lucky days and weekends)
・Prayers are often held jointly with large groups of people.
・A line of people waiting at the photo spot
・Noise and crowds cause stress to babies
[Cost and time burden]
・The initial offering is expensive (10,000 to 20,000 yen)
・Parking fees, transportation costs
- Travel time is long and the baby gets tired
・It is difficult to make a reservation
[Tends to be formal]
・An impression of "assembly line"
-Lack of individual consideration
・The distance to the priest is far
[Complete analysis of the advantages and disadvantages of local shrines]
●Advantages of choosing a local shrine
[Easy access]
- Close to home, short travel time
・Safe because they know the area
・You can return home immediately in an emergency (such as if your baby becomes unwell)
・In many cases, you can get there without a car
[Homey atmosphere]
・The priests are close and caring
-Easy to get individual circumstances taken into consideration
- Take your time and pray slowly
・The warm eyes of the local people
[Cost benefits]
・The initial offering is relatively inexpensive (3,000 to 8,000 yen)
・Free parking
No transportation costs
[Continuing Relationship]
・Long-term care for Shichi-Go-San, Coming-of-Age Ceremonies, etc.
・Feel close to him as the guardian deity of the area
・It remains familiar even when children grow up
Disadvantages of local shrines
[Facility constraints]
・There may not be a nursing room
・Narrow parking lot or gravel road
・Barrier-free access is insufficient
There is no waiting room
[Gorgeous appearance]
・It may not look as good in photos.
・The temple grounds are small
The building is old and lacks luxury
[Not feeling special enough]
・Sometimes it feels too normal
・Simple souvenirs
[Criteria for choosing a shrine from a baby's perspective]
Whichever you choose,
"It's less stressful for the baby"
This perspective is the most important.
● Essential checkpoints
[Access]
□ Travel time from home (ideally within an hour)
□ Distance from the parking lot to the temple grounds
□ Possibility of moving around with a stroller
□ Presence or absence of stairs or steps
[Equipment]
□ Secure a place to breastfeed
□ Diaper changing space
□ Indoor waiting space
□ Heating and cooling
[Environmental]
□ Noise levels (traffic, construction, etc.)
□ Crowding situation (especially on the desired date)
□ Ventilation and sunlight
□ Cleanliness
[Response aspects]
□ Understanding of people with babies
□ Flexible response
□ Emergency response
□ Level of cooperation in taking photos
[Practical research methods for choosing a shrine]
How to conduct a preliminary survey
[Internet survey]
・Check the facilities on the shrine's official website
・Check the actual situation on Google Maps
・Read actual experiences on review sites
・Check out real photos on Instagram etc.
[Things to check by phone]
"I'm planning a shrine visit for my one-month-old baby..."
□Is there a place where I can breastfeed?
□Is there a diaper changing space?
□ Can I bring a stroller into the temple grounds?
□ Is the parking lot close to the temple grounds?
□ Is there any consideration given if the baby cries?
□ Is it possible to take photos?
□ When is the least crowded time?
● If you actually go to inspect the site
If possible, we recommend visiting during your pregnancy.
[Things to check during the preview]
・Actual distance and route from the parking lot to the shrine
・A place where you can breastfeed or change diapers
・A good spot for taking photos
A place where you can wait
・Overall atmosphere
[Recommended patterns for each shrine]
●People who are recommended to visit famous shrines
・I want to emphasize commemoration and formality
・I want to prioritize improving facilities
I don't mind the crowds and the cost
Traveling by car is not a hassle
・My grandparents wanted a "fine shrine."
Professional photography is also planned.
●People who should visit local shrines
・I want to minimize the burden on the baby
・I want to emphasize a homely atmosphere
・I want to keep costs down
I want to shorten travel time
I want a flexible response
・We want to cherish our connections with the local community
[The "third option": choosing a medium-sized shrine]
In fact, there are famous shrines and local shrines.
There are options that allow you to "get the best of both worlds."
This is a "medium-sized shrine that is famous in the area."
[Characteristics of medium-sized shrines]
-Has a certain level of formality and facilities
But it's so famous that it's never crowded.
・Community-based, yet reasonably large in scale
・The first offering is also moderate (5,000 to 10,000 yen)
Relatively good access
[How to find it]
・Search for "____ city shrine shrine visit"
・Check local magazines and free papers
・Ask experienced moms in your neighborhood
・Contact your local government's tourism department
[Tips for making the final decision]
Finally, when you are unsure about which shrine to choose,
I'll tell you the crucial point.
"A shrine where the whole family can feel safe"
This is the answer.
Because it's famous, because it's close, because it's cheap...
Any reason is fine.
What's important is on the day
"I'm glad I chose this place"
To be able to truly believe this.
And when I looked back at the photos years later,
"At that time, the whole family
I visited that shrine."
I can talk about it with a warm feeling.
God sees your sincerity.
Whichever shrine you choose,
If you want a shrine visit filled with love for your baby,
It's sure to be a wonderful day.
Guide to preparing dinner and souvenirs after the shrine visit
A gentle way to spend the day with tired babies and moms
Choosing a dinner party that deepens family ties
Ideas for creating memories that will last a lifetime
"I want to have a meal with everyone after the shrine visit..."
Are there any stores that are okay to bring babies to?
Even if the shrine visit is completed safely,
Many mothers worry about what to do after that.
Since all the family and relatives had gathered,
I want to have a commemorative meal with everyone.
But with a one-month-old baby,
I'm worried about how far I can go.
As a shrine visit concierge
I heard from someone who has supported over 500 families,
Gentle on both babies and moms
I'll tell you what to do after the shrine visit .
[Advantages and disadvantages of different dinner party patterns]
● Pattern 1: Dinner at a restaurant
【merit】
・A formal atmosphere suitable for commemoration
No preparation or cleanup burden
・Professional cooking provides high satisfaction
・Photogenic presentation and space
[Disadvantages]
I'm worried about the baby's crying
・It is difficult to find a place to breastfeed and change diapers
There are time constraints
Costs can be high
[Tips for success]
・Private rooms are required (so you can spend time without worrying about others)
・Check nursing rooms and diaper changing spaces
・Check if strollers can be brought in
- Set the time within 1.5 hours
● Pattern 2: Homemade dinner at home
【merit】
- Completely adaptable to your baby's pace
Breastfeeding and diaper changing are also allowed
・Costs can be reduced
・Homey atmosphere
[Disadvantages]
- Large burden of preparation and cleanup
・Possibility of mom getting tired
- Long food preparation time
-Lack of special feeling
[Tips for success]
- Prepare food the day before
・Use delivery and mail-order services
・Asking family members to share roles
・Mom is the one being treated
● Pattern 3: Use of catering services
【merit】
・Combining the security of home with professional cooking
Minimal preparation effort
・Can be adjusted to the baby's pace
・Good cost performance
[Disadvantages]
Delivery time needs to be adjusted
・The hassle of returning dishes
Possibility of getting cold
[Tips for success]
・Order by counting backwards from the time of the shrine visit
・Select a menu that can be kept warm
・Confirm the collection time of the dishes in advance
[How to find restaurants that are baby-friendly]
If you absolutely want to eat out
We will teach you how to choose a restaurant without making a mistake.
●Required conditions checklist
[Basic equipment]
□ Private or semi-private rooms available
□ Nursing room or alternative space
□ Diaper changing space
□ Strollers allowed inside the store
□ Baby chair rental (just in case)
[Location and Access]
□ Within 30 minutes by car from the shrine
□ Large parking lot
□ There is an elevator (for the second floor or higher)
□ There are few steps at the entrance
[Service]
□ Baby-friendly atmosphere
□ Relaxed time limit (more than 2 hours)
□ Hot water available (for milk)
□ Responding to sudden changes and cancellations
●Things to check when making a reservation
"I'm dining with my one-month-old baby..."
□ Is it okay to bring a baby to the private room?
□Is there a place where I can breastfeed?
□ Where can I change diapers?
□ Can I enter the store with my stroller?
□ Can I have hot water (over 70 degrees)?
□ Is there a time limit?
□ If my baby cries, can I leave the room temporarily?
[Points to consider when choosing a meal menu]
● Consideration for mom's health
A mother one month after giving birth is not yet fully recovered.
[Foods to avoid]
・Raw foods (sashimi, raw oysters, etc.)
·alcohol
Extremely spicy food
Extremely cold things
・Food that is hard to digest
[Recommended dishes]
・Warm clear soup or miso soup
・Boiled or steamed dishes
・White fish or chicken
・Well-balanced menu centered around vegetables
・Easy-to-digest rice dishes
●Select a menu that will satisfy everyone
[Consideration for the grandparent generation]
- Moderate portion size and easy to eat
・Mainly Japanese food (familiar)
・Soft ingredients
・Food that is easy to eat with chopsticks
[A special feeling worthy of commemoration]
・Auspicious ingredients such as red rice and sea bream
・Seasonal ingredients
・A gorgeous presentation
・Special menu for celebrations
[Photo shooting ideas for dinner parties]
Dinner parties are also part of our precious memories.
●Scenes you want to capture
[Food and table]
・Overall view of the celebratory meal
・Close-up of lucky items such as red rice and sea bream
Beautifully presented food
・Toast scene (Mom is non-alcoholic)
[Family expressions]
・Grandparents' happy expressions
Dad soothing his baby
・A group of people gathered around a table (overhead shot)
- Natural conversation scenes
[Baby-centric]
- A profile of the mother breastfeeding (if permitted)
・Being held by grandparents
・A baby sleeping while being watched over by everyone
[Collection of souvenir and memento ideas]
●Souvenirs for participants
[Classic and popular items]
・Take-out pack of red rice
・Auspicious sweets (such as red and white manju)
・Photos of the shrine visit (to be mailed later)
・Sharing the amulet I received at the shrine
[Handmade with love]
・Message card with baby's handprints and footprints
・Photo frame with a photo from the shrine visit
・A small gift with your baby's name
● Making a family keepsake
What you can do on the spot
・Write a message card together
・Record your baby's daily activities in a notebook
・Everyone's handprints on one piece of paper
・Listen to and record impressions of the dinner party
[To be created later]
・Shrine visit photo album
・Video editing
・Collection of impressions (requests from participants)
・Selecting photos for New Year's cards
[Emergency plan for when you're tired]
No matter how much you prepare,
You may find yourself more tired than expected on the day.
How to simplify a dinner party
・Time reduced by 30 minutes
- Simplified menu
・Skip preparing souvenirs
- Minimize photography
● If you want to stop completely
・Set again on another day
・Change to takeaway lunches
・Online dinner party
・Only souvenirs will be given
Finally, the most important thing about a dinner party.
It's not a "perfect dinner"
"It's the feeling of everyone celebrating the baby's growth."
Even if there are some poor planning or changes in plans,
The whole family
"Today was a really good day."
The most important thing is to be able to think this way.
Focusing on babies,
Spend a time filled with love.
Expert answers to 30 common questions
Now you can rest assured! Complete shrine visit Q&A
The true etiquette explained by shrine officials
A modern and flexible interpretation
I've read this far, but I still have a small question...
What should I do in a specific case?
The more I research about shrine visits,
New questions arise.
So finally,
New moms actually asked questions to shrines and experts
"30 Real Questions" and their answers
We will deliver them all together.
I'm sure you're thinking, "Yes, that's what I wanted to know!"
You may also find yourself wondering:
[Basic Manners and Etiquette]
Q1. Who should hold the baby at the shrine visit?
A1. Traditionally, it was the paternal grandmother, but nowadays, anyone can hold the baby. If the mother wants to hold the baby, then the mother should hold the baby. If the grandmother wants to hold the baby, then the grandmother should hold the baby. It is best for the baby to be held by the person with whom the baby feels most comfortable.
Q2. If a baby cries during prayer, should I leave?
A2. If you are only crying lightly, there is no need to leave the ceremony. If you are crying intensely, you may leave the ceremony temporarily. The priests are understanding and will warmly watch over you, seeing this as a sign that you are in good health.
Q3. Should the shrine visit always be held in the morning?
A3. It doesn't have to be in the morning. Choose a time that suits your baby's daily rhythm and is best when they are in the best mood. However, be aware that the temperature drops in the evening.
Q4. How much money should I put in at a shrine?
A4. Aside from the initial offering, an offering of around 5 to 100 yen is sufficient when worshipping. The feeling of gratitude is more important than the amount.
Q5. Is it okay to bring siblings to the shrine visit?
A5. Of course, it's fine. However, you need to make sure that the older child doesn't get bored. We recommend preparing toys and snacks and having an adult in charge of the older child.
[Clothing and Preparation]
Q6. What kind of underwear should I choose to wear under my ceremonial attire?
A6. Your usual underwear is sufficient. New underwear can cause skin irritation, so wear something you're used to wearing. Adjust the number of layers according to the season.
Q7. Are there any clothes that are absolutely not acceptable for moms to wear?
A7. Avoid revealing clothing (miniskirts, clothes with plunging necklines) and overly casual clothing (jeans, sneakers). Ease of breastfeeding is also an important criterion for choosing clothing.
Q8. What if dad doesn't have a suit?
A8. A jacket and slacks combination is fine. Alternatively, you can take this opportunity to buy a suit. You can also rent a suit.
Q9. How do I protect my celebratory attire on rainy days?
A9. Protect yourself with a transparent rain cover or a large umbrella. Prepare plenty of towels in case you get wet. In the worst case scenario, consider postponing the event.
Q10. My celebratory kimono does not have a family crest. Is that okay?
A10. It is perfectly fine to have no family crest. Nowadays, it is rare to have a family crest. Please choose one that has a beautiful pattern and color.
[Regarding physical condition and health management]
Q11. Is it okay if my baby has a slight runny nose?
A11. If your child does not have a slight fever and is in a good mood, it is fine. However, if your child is coughing or sneezing severely, please consider postponing the visit. If you are worried, please consult your pediatrician.
Q12. My postpartum lochia hasn't completely stopped yet. Can I still participate?
A12. There is no problem if the amount is small, but please prioritize your health. If you have any concerns, we recommend that you consult with your obstetrician-gynecologist or postpone the procedure.
Q13. If my mother is unwell, can someone else participate in her place?
A13. It is also possible for just the father and grandparents to participate. After the mother has recovered, the family can return to pray just the other way round.
Q14. Is it okay to take my baby to the shrine right after getting a vaccination?
A14. Avoid getting the vaccine on the day of vaccination. Wait 2-3 days to see how you feel. This is because there is a possibility of side effects such as fever.
Q15. My baby has severe eczema. Should I take photos of it?
A15. Eczema is also a part of your baby's current condition. If it bothers you, you can edit the photo to remove it, but taking a photo of your baby as it is is also a lovely record.
[About costs and money]
Q16. Is it okay for a husband and wife to share the first offering?
A16. It is okay to have one first offering for one family. The division of the offering is a private matter, so please keep it as one in appearance.
Q17. Is a tip required in addition to the first offering?
A17. Generally, no. Only if you have made special consideration, it is sufficient to give a token amount.
Q18. What would you do if your grandparents were asked to cover the costs?
A18. Yes, you are welcome to do so. However, please confirm in advance the scope of the cost (e.g., whether it is just the offering or whether meals are included).
Q19. What should I do if a cancellation fee is incurred?
A19. Many shrines and restaurants will be considerate if your baby is unwell. It is important to check the cancellation policy when making a reservation.
Q20. Is it necessary to give a gift in return or as a token of appreciation?
A20. It is common to give red rice or a commemorative gift to thank those who participated. It does not have to be expensive.
[Special cases/modern concerns]
Q21. If you are divorced, should you invite your ex-spouse's grandparents?
A21. Please give top priority to your current family relationships. You don't have to force them to join, but if you have a good relationship with them, you can still participate.
Q22. In the case of an international marriage, how do you explain things to your foreign family?
A22. Explain this as a Japanese tradition in advance and seek understanding. An increasing number of shrines are now providing explanatory materials in English.
Q23. Is it okay to post photos on social media?
A23. Please check in advance about taking and posting photos inside the shrine. It is okay to post photos of your family, but please be careful not to include other worshippers in the photos.
Q24. How should I wear a mask during the coronavirus pandemic?
A24. Adults are recommended to wear masks. Babies do not need masks (it is dangerous). Please follow the shrine's infection control measures and avoid crowded areas when visiting.
Q25. Is it possible to film a shrine visit?
A25. Most shrines prohibit filming during prayers. Filming is often permitted within the shrine grounds, but you should check in advance.
Other practical questions:
Q26. What should I do if a shrine is difficult to access by car?
A26. There are several options, such as taking a taxi, taking the train from the nearest station, or visiting the shrine on your behalf. Please make your decision with the least possible burden on your baby in mind.
Q27. What if I forget something on the day of the shrine visit?
A27. If you forget to bring the offering, you can exchange it for new bills at a nearby convenience store. Diapers and milk can be purchased at pharmacies near the shrine. It's okay if you're not perfect.
Q28. Is it okay to visit multiple shrines for shrine visits?
A28. There is no particular problem. Some families visit both the shrine in their hometown and the shrine near their home.
Q29. What should I keep as a record of the shrine visit?
A29. Photos, videos, diaries, talismans and charms received at shrines, celebratory clothing, etc. You can record your feelings of the day however you like, but it's also important to put your feelings of that day into words.
Q30. What should I be careful of when taking my next child to the shrine?
A30. Use your experience with your first child to prepare something that suits the child's personality. There's no problem with reusing ceremonial clothing, but prepare new underwear and other items.
[Finally: Message from the shrine officials]
I have answered many questions,
Finally, I received a gift from a person related to the shrine.
A heartwarming message.
"There is no 'perfect answer' for a shrine visit.
The important thing is to wish for the baby's healthy growth,
The whole family should express their feelings to God.
Don't get too caught up in the formality
A warm shrine visit that is unique to your family
Please make it happen.
God loves your sincerity.
I'm sure you'll accept it."
Hopefully this guide will ease your worries a little.
Approach the shrine visit day with confidence
I hope I was able to help you.
I hope you have a wonderful shrine visit.
With your precious baby,
Have an irreplaceable day.
Preparations for the shrine visit are now complete
To a newborn little life
Your loving feelings.
That is what makes the best shrine visit possible.
This is the most important element.
The knowledge and preparations we have provided in this guide are important, but
Above all, "feeling joy and gratitude for my child's growth"
Please take good care of it.
I'm sure it will be a wonderful visit.
For your baby's healthy growth,
I pray for you from the bottom of my heart.